How often do you wake up and wish you could go straight back to bed to avoid verbal abuse with your husband or children? No one ever said having children would be easy, but no one ever said it would be this hard. Not only are you working on changing the dynamic within your household, you are now working on cutting expenses, maintaining a house, and feeding a family that seems more unappreciative towards your actions the harder you try. How then, are you supposed to maintain a positive attitude? Is it really that big of a deal to hide negative emotions from your children?
What Was Your Childhood Like?
Think back to a time in your childhood when your life was chaotic. Was it simply chaotic because of school and the chores you had to complete? Or, did your family’s turmoil foster the rise of your own despair, frustration, and isolation? Commonly, when a child sees their parents arguing, they feel as if it is part of the dynamic in a relationship to argue as well. Without discipline, constructed criticism, and secrecy of your marriage problems, the child is likely to act out in similar ways to your behavior.
Do you then, have the ability to take notice of what you’re feeling or thinking, and then correlate it to the reason why? Prior to another argument arising, tell your husband and children that you want to see a change. The next time you all argue for whatever reason, space yourselves in different rooms and allow time for writing. Write down why you were arguing, how it happened, what made you act out, and how you are feeling. Self-awareness is one of the most productive tools that will help you change your behavior. Once everyone is calm and ready to talk, take a few more minutes to write about what you can do to minimize the fighting. Of course, all households can’t diminish fighting permanently; however, wouldn’t it be nice to take the anger to a minimum, and help your children in the process by teaching them the fundamentals of a healthy relationship?
Seek Additional Help
If you and your family are truly at your wits-end, don’t hesitate to seek additional help and professional assistance. Not only is family counseling available, there is also individual counseling and additional schools that provide a helping hand for your teens. Christian boarding schools can offer a healthy lifestyle for your teen, taking them away from a family that is in the process of change. In the meantime of your child being away, you and your husband will have the time to work out the changes that need to be made, and also have the ability of reconnecting one-on-one.
Always remember, you are not alone.